Adamantine
by Alchemistry
Summary: As a female, she is weak. As a girl, she is delicate. As a shinobi, she lacks strength. But she will not be defined by those characteristics. Not anymore. Sakura-centric.
1. Some are more equal than others

Title: Adamantine

Author: Eliways

Franchise: Naruto

Summary: As a female, she is weak. As a girl, she is delicate. As a shinobi, she is weak. But she will not be defined by those characteristics. Not anymore. Sakura-centric.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Author's Note: To be honest, I've been wanting to do this story in a really long time. Sakura has always been my favourite character in Naruto, no matter what anybody else thinks. Although Kishimoto is great at developing male protagonists, I feel that the heroines have always been overshadowed by the males' strength. I know, it's dumb to think like that, because Naruto is a shonen manga/anime, and the creators can't make money if their content is boring for male readers to read. Nevertheless, being a female fan of Naruto, I feel that Sakura should have been developed more. So, this story focuses on some snapshots of Sakura's life, which I extracted mainly from the manga and anime (including fillers).

Inspiration: I'm a relatively new writer, but a veteran reader, and I've read many, many stories on this site which have inspired me to actually create an account and post my stories for reviews/comments. The content below has been inspired by:

1. 'Catch 22' by JanuaryEclipses

2. 'Green Drug' by twitch and spaz

3. 'The Mind is a Delicate Thing' by Gallyrat

Please read their stories, because those writers are absolutely amazing in what they do. I'm just a fan who has too much time on her hands.

**Warning: This chapter contains spoilers. There are mentions of the Uchiha Clan Massacre. This chapter contains material from the Chuunin Exam arc.**

* * *

><p>She was soft, warm, and kind. In addition to those characteristics, she was female.<p>

They had never saw her much of fighter, really.

When Sakura was five, with her pink hair and emerald eyes, she was the target for many bullies and insults. She had long learned that such people were right; the normal looking, good looking kids never got the same treatment as her. She had so much emotional burden on her fragile shoulders that she would cry all night just to relieve some of the pain. She had tried to keep her tears within her body whenever she was subjected to the horrid anguish of being left behind and mocked. However, try as she might, those traitorous drops of crystalline liquid would still flow freely from her emerald eyes.

She wasn't stupid. In fact, for her age, she was rather intelligent. At five, she had already had a rough idea of how the world was like, and had viewed it in slight disgust after finding out that it wasn't as perfect as she had hoped to be. Nevertheless, she still ploughed on, trying to keep her composure and calm, despite all the turbulent happenings around her.

It was only that fateful day, when the day had already waned and the dusky beginnings of night was starting to appear in the ephemeral pale purple sky, when she glimpsed a graceful figure practicing alone in one of the training grounds reserved for the shinobi of the village.

She stood in awe, captivated at the litheness in which the body danced and the gracefulness in which it executed its moves. Each action was precise, measured, but so powerful at the same time. She felt enthralled. She squinted behind her long bangs and tried to get a better glimpse of the enigmatic figure, but dusk had fallen, and the only noticeable trait which she could make out was that the figure had long, flowing hair.

That was power; that was grace; that was beauty. She longed to become as refined as that mysterious shinobi, as elegant in her actions as that female – well, that figure had to be female, she mused, no self-respecting male would keep such pretty, pretty hair – and as strong as that supple body.

That mysterious shinobi had had a huge impact on her life then. She would go home, and request her parents to enroll her into the Ninja Academy. That would be the first step she would take to find her own little piece of happiness in such a deranged world. Yes, she was determined. With a small smile gracing her delicate features, she bounded home, a pink blur in the dusky streets of Konoha.

As Uchiha Itachi continued his training, he wondered what had made the small girl so happy. Her tear-stained face had lighted up so happily when she had seen him that he felt a twinge of adoration in his heart. It reminded him of Sasuke, and when he glanced toward the setting sun, he felt compelled to go home, to see his family and to eat dinner with them, for a change. He darted across the rooftops agilely, his mind still lingering on the innocent smile that pink haired girl had produced.

.

.

When she first laid eyes on Uchiha Sasuke, her mind did not immediately tell her that he was good-looking, cool, or talented. She had viewed him in a sort of timid objection, admiring his capabilities and qualities as a shinobi. He was definitely talented, and had a cool aura around him, which attracted many squeals from the female population of her class. When she had first entered the classroom, and Iruka-sensei had introduced her to the class, she had scanned the room nervously, trying to find a friendly face among the sea of strangers. While the rest of the girls glowered at her, angry that they had another female to compete with for Sasuke-kun's attention, Sasuke was the only one who bothered to look at her and _see_ her. His were the only eyes which weren't angry, judging or competitive. His onyx eyes were kind and welcoming, as though saying _hello_. She smiled timidly back, and his porcelain face broke out into a small smile too. His fan girls, mistakenly assuming that Sakura was out to get Sasuke's attention, raged even more.

That day, Sakura and Sasuke sat next to each other in companionable silence, with one talking occasionally. Her first impression of Sasuke was that he was one of the kindest boys she had ever met, and the first friend she had ever made.

.

.

When Sakura had met Ino, it was after she had joined the Ninja Academy. She was still crying, and feeling pretty low after some kids had thrown rocks at her and called her a freak. It hurt so much that the tears kept coming and coming. It was not solely physical pain which had triggered her body to produce them, but also the emotional ache in her heart where she could bear it no further. She had tried her best to make friends, to make herself stronger, to make herself more likeable, but everything was in vain. No matter where she went, she would still be ridiculed.

She was at her breaking point, damn it.

Sobbing, she failed to notice a confident figure striding toward her, failed to notice that a girl had squatted to her eye level and had stretched an arm in a gesture to shake hands with her. Sakura looked up from beneath her pink tresses, sniffed, and looked incredulously at the slender arm in front of her face.

"I… I…" in between hiccups, Sakura stuttered, trying to get the words out from her closed throat.

"I'm Ino. Nice to meet you!" the blonde girl said sunnily, and smiled brightly at the sobbing girl.

"Why?" Sakura was shocked beyond belief that this pretty girl had deigned to lower herself to talk to a pariah.

"When someone introduces themselves to you, you're supposed to say hi and tell them your name. It's only polite, you know." Ino told Sakura, but not unkindly.

Sakura had stopped crying, but she had instead buried her head, hiding behind her shield of pink hair.

"Come on, I won't bite. Tell me your name," Ino cajoled.

"I'm Sakura…" she mumbled, but it sounded more like ''m Sha-u-a'.

"Louder, I can't hear you. And don't bow your head! Stare at me straight in the eyes and shout your name out!"

"Sakura."

"Louder, this time, just don't think that anyone is watching!"

"I'm Haruno Sakura!" she yelled, then immediately blushed.

"There, now don't you feel better?" Ino smiled, and sat down on the curb beside Sakura.

"…Yeah, thank…you, Ino-san."

"No need for the –san; makes me feel old. Ino or Ino-chan is fine!" Ino laughed, throwing her head backward. Sakura giggled slightly, her eyes following the graceful column of the blonde's neck as the sun rays shone upon the pale skin.

Soon, both girls were giggling, and it was only after Sakura glanced upon the lengthening shadows on the black asphalt that she realized that both of them had been conversing for hours.

"Sakura, come here again tomorrow okay? And stop crying; you're much prettier when you smile."

"Oh… oh sure! But why?"

"I have something to give you! Well, I gotta go now; my parents will be worried if I don't get home soon. Bye Sakura!" Ino gave her a small wave, winked mischievously, before darting behind the corner and disappearing from Sakura's line of sight.

_Ino, thank you. Maybe this world does have some pieces of perfection here and there, after all._ Sakura smiled broadly, before making her way back home. Under the waning rays of the setting sun, she looked calm and content, an expression which she rarely wore. As she passed by the training grounds, she saw the mysterious figure practicing again, and stopped for a few moments to appreciate 'her' movements and speed. After nodding satisfactorily to herself, she skipped home, feeling much happier than she had felt in weeks.

Uchiha Itachi had been absorbed in his training when Sakura had chanced upon him, but he still continued, ignoring her small presence. The only things which had made him widen his eyes for a fraction, was that she looked calmer, and that her chakra reserves had increased substantially from the previous time he saw her. _Maybe she's in Sasuke's class… _he resumed his rigorous training, after noticing that the sun's rays casted an almost illuminating halo on the tiny pink head bobbing in the distance.

.

.

Using the training grounds to cut through home had already become routine. She had told herself that it was the quickest way home (which it was, technically, discounting the rooftops), but she secretly wanted to see the mysterious ninja in training again.

She liked sitting in the sun's waning rays and watch the figure train. She suspected that 'she' knew of Sakura's presence, but had chosen to ignore her. Sakura did not mind. It was quiet and nice to watch the lithe and graceful movements of the unnamed ninja.

Until one day, when Sakura cut across the training grounds, she found it empty. The mysterious ninja had disappeared. Sakura did not panic, because ninjas were sent on missions regularly, and this was not the first time the figure did not appear. However, something in her heart told her that the figure had really _gone_.

The next day, Sasuke was absent. She did not question his absence, but wondered vaguely if his disappearance was linked to the other ninja's departure.

The whole of next week, both of them were gone.

It was only until slightly more than a week after the ninja's disappearance then did Sasuke return, but he looked so caught up in hatred and sorrow that Sakura steered clear of him. She had heard about his clan, but nobody would tell her the full details.

_Maybe that strong ninja was killed too…_

.

.

During Team 7's mission in Wave, when Kakashi-sensei had instructed his team to do chakra control exercises, she felt apprehension and dread fill her. Sure, she had graduated the Ninja Academy with the second highest test scores (only to be beaten by Sasuke by a small fraction), but she was completely hopeless at Taijutsu and Ninjutsu. She had barely managed to scrape a pass, and that was largely due to her exceptional written scores.

With determination and anxiety, she gathered chakra to the soles of her feet, and put the sole of her right foot against the bark of the tree. As she craned her neck to see its height, she almost blanched. It was so tall! She gulped, and decided to wing it. She put her other foot on it, and almost fell down with amazement that both of them _stuck. Her feet actually stuck to the tree._

Her confidence and surprise growing, she scaled the tree almost effortlessly. That was easy. _Extremely easy!_ It was almost like breathing, and it came naturally to her. She giggled with glee, glad that she was finally getting somewhere. Soon, her joy became too hard to contain and laughter bubbled out of her, making her clutch her stomach with tears as she sat on the sturdy branch of the tree. Her teammates on the ground, though, were having no such luck.

Naruto and Sasuke were still struggling getting up the first few feet of the tree, while Sakura had scaled it in no time. Kakashi allowed his lone eye to widen, for he definitely had not foreseen this. In fact, he had expected Sasuke to get it first, but he stated offhandedly, "Well, it seems that Sakura is the best at controlling her chakra in our team. Good job Sakura!"

Sakura sat on the branch, her legs dangling below. Naruto was showering her with praises, until it became almost unbearably embarrassing. She timidly glanced over at Sasuke, but he had merely given her a cursory glance before he turned away, wordless.

She deflated almost immediately, her head hanging low. _Why didn't Sasuke praise her? Or acknowledge her? Had she done something wrong?_ The last few bubbles of joy she had experienced earlier popped and she climbed down the tree, contemplating on what she had just done. As she tried it again, she found that it had become easier and she frowned.

Kakashi-sensei had left them to their own devices, and Naruto and Sasuke were still struggling. She sat at the base of her tree and tried to meditate, but found that she could not find peace in her body. Naruto came over and sat next to her. Usually, she would have scooted away from him, but this time, she said nothing and both sat in pregnant silence, until he asked her, "Ne, Sakura-chan, how did ya do that so quickly? It was awesome!"

Typical Naruto, she sighed. Well, at least she finally had some attention on her. "Well, it's quite simple, really. See, you gotta focus your chakra to the bottom of your feet. The tree is a solid object, right? So that means that the stream of chakra you channel out will remain the same throughout. The first step is to find out how much chakra you need to balance yourself first, then remember that amount and channel the exact same amount to your other foot, and rinse and repeat!"

Naruto looked at her blankly, and she tried to simplify her explanation by putting more chakra into the soles of her feet to make it more look more visible. Due to her low chakra reserves, she could barely focus enough chakra to her foot make it hum with pale blue light before she gasped breathlessly, keeling over. "Anyway, you channel your chakra to the soles of your feet, got it?"

Naruto looked at her intently, before turning away and yelling, "I can do it! Believe it! Just watch me beat Sasuke, yeah!"

Sakura shook her head and sighed. Naruto was still Naruto. What she did not notice as she tried to go back into a Zen state was that Sasuke had been staring at the duo keenly, before surreptitiously trying out Sakura's advice. His pride had not allowed him to talk to his screeching and annoying fan girl, while he would only ask the dead-last if he was at his wits' end.

As Sakura meditated, she kept reliving the moment when she had managed to best both of her teammates. While she kept harping on the issue of Sasuke's lack of acknowledgement, she should have been relishing the fact that she had beaten both of them. It would be one of the rare moments where she could savour a sense of accomplishment over her boys.

.

.

During the fight with Zabuza, she had been full of energy, and the adrenaline buzzing in her ears seemed to fuel the crazy energy further. She was ready to fight, ready to earn her place as a ninja, ready to prove her worth, and at that moment, she did. She felt that she was ready to take on anything. In fact, she was given the most important job of all – protecting the bridge builder. She had been proud of herself as she stood in front of him, a kunai in her hand and arms crossed in defensive position. She had catalogued every bead of perspiration dotting her hairline, every harsh breath she took and every beat of her heart, _so full of life, so full of energy. _Tazuna, under her protection, was also under Konoha's protection, and she felt that she was living up to her village's name.

She had felt selfless courage pound in her veins, and had felt calm when she witnessed the battles taking place simultaneously in front of her. Although Sakura would not have known it then, she had been in touch with the Will of Fire, a state where a shinobi would call upon his selflessness and sense of self sacrifice to do anything to protect his home. It would be one of the moments where Sakura's innocent ignorance would prevent her from knowing that she had attained what the Sandaime had been trying to achieve all his life by training countless of ninja. She would have never known that countless shinobi before her (much stronger, much faster) had never lived up to the Sandaime's expectations.

However, as she pondered upon the battle at home, in the soft comfort of her bed, she wondered why exactly she was put in front of Tazuna. Kakashi-sensei and the boys had been fighting Zabuza and Haku respectively, and so what exactly was she protecting Tazuna from? Hot tears would escape from her eyes as she realized that she had been put there to _look_ as though she was doing something useful, while her boys did the hard work. She was put there to stay out of their way.

In front of Tazuna, she did feel useful. But she felt utterly useless when she saw Sasuke not far from the clutches of Death.

.

.

When Team 7 had encountered the Sand Siblings for the first time in Konoha before the Chuunin Exams, Sakura was in awe of their ninja garb, and of the way they carried themselves. While Konohamaru had squirmed in Kankuro's grip, she took notice of the red-headed boy lurking in the back. His cold stare told her everything she needed to know – she knew _nothing_.

In front of her teammates, she laughed and smiled, but when she remembered his piercing stare, she shivered involuntarily. As she looked upon the piece of paper Kakashi-sensei had given to her for admission into the Chuunin Exams, she could only see the smooth letters crinkling at the edges as her fist gripped the paper too tightly.

.

.

Sakura felt great pride in herself when she had managed to break Iruka-sensei's genjutsu. As she saw a ghost of a smile flicker over 'Sasuke-kun's' face, delight swelled within her. However, when she ambled through the marketplace to get home, she realized that she only knew that that was a genjutsu because of her fan girling tendencies around Sasuke. The real Sasuke would not have wanted to spend more than necessary time around her.

The next day, when she entered the building, she looked crestfallen. The previous night, she had spent sleepless hours tossing and turning, anxiety gnawing her insides with dread. Sasuke, being the most perceptive out of their group, had taken the opportunity to compliment her skills as a genjutsu user in order to boost her pride. Sakura gave him a watery smile before she felt gratification bloom within her. _Maybe he did care._

When they sat down to do the written part of the paper, her pride was reinforced back the fact that she knew all the answers to the paper. _I guess that my big forehead does help after all, _she smirked. However, after that part of the test was over, everything went awry.

In the Forest of Death, Sakura knew nothing about survival. Having spent her pre-teen years grooming herself and reading fashion magazines, she had led a relatively sheltered life. At that moment, she mentally kicked herself for being such a _girl_ when she was supposed to train during the valuable years she had wasted away. Instead of setting up traps of strategizing with her team, she was inwardly freaking out that she would have to pee in the open and eat wild roots and berries for sustenance. When Naruto had gone to pee and an imposter came back, she watched Sasuke tackle the enemy nin and stood there like a white elephant. She felt like a fool.

Despite priding herself as an above-average genjutsu user, she had been unable to get out of Orochimaru's trap in time, forcing Sasuke to take a stab in his thigh to get both of them out of the sticky situation. She had watched Sasuke through fearful eyes, and had secretly admired Orochimaru's high prowess and skill. Once it had become apparent that he was no ordinary genin competing in the Chuunin Exams, for once in her life, Sakura had felt that this man's power could rival the Sandaime's. Nothing had her more shaken than that revelation.

As she stood a safe distance away, watching the battle play out in front of her, her mind was screaming at her to do something,_ anything_, but she had hung back, fear and anxiety getting the best of her. Even Naruto had fearlessly joined the battle, managing to get a hit on the mysterious enemy ninja. While both of them had lost, and Sakura had escaped without a scratch, she felt utterly _useless_. She felt like a cheerleader, shouting screams of encouragement at appropriate timings to egg her teammates on. However, she knew that behind those screams held the selfish reason of self-preservation.

When Naruto and Sasuke were both out cold from their battle, she took care of both of them, and that was the time where she felt the most useful. At least, as a _female_, she could provide solace and comfort. When Sasuke was writhing in pain in his fitful slumber, the least she could do was cradle his head and murmur comforting words into his ear, notwithstanding if he could hear them or not, but she believed that he could. From the moment Sakura had turned five, it had been drilled into her head that in a male-dominated culture such as the world they lived in, a woman was supposed to do her duties right and let the men do the work.

When the team of Sound ninja had come to ambush them, Sakura was prepared. She would not make the same mistakes in the past and stand at the side. She would prove her worth, and let the world look at her back.

She had already set up a few simple traps in the area in case any team would sneak up on them, and thankfully, the Sound ninja had foolishly fallen into one. As she battled Zaku and parried Kin's blows, she finally felt useful, finally felt that she was doing _something_.

Then Kin had held her hair in a death grip and mocked her, "If you have time to treat your hair, then train you female swine." Sakura felt hot tears brimming over again. _Why couldn't she do anything right? Maybe she really wasn't cut out for this ninja business._ But then, she remembered how Naruto and Sasuke had protected her countless times, how Kakashi-sensei had put his faith in them, and she realized that she couldn't back down, not this time.

With confidence she never knew, Sakura twirled a kunai deftly before cutting off her (long, glossy, smooth) hair and freeing herself from Kin's clutches. She had grown out her hair before because there had been rumours circulating around that Sasuke-kun liked girls with long hair. Foolishly believing them to be true, she had grown hers out too, even though she secretly thought that it was highly impractical to do so. Now, as she held the sharp kunai in her hand, its handle digging painfully into her soft fingers, she realized that Sasuke never did like girls with long hair. Her continual presence around him proved that. Sasuke needed someone who did not need him, someone strong enough to hold her own ground, but still enjoyed his company nevertheless. Sasuke needed someone _strong_.

Trying to fend off the continual attacks, she mused bitterly that she should have trained more instead of trying to be pretty and delicate. Lee had even gotten hurt for her. At Zaku's mercy, she bit his hand with all the strength she had in her (which was a lot, to be honest) and withstood his harsh beatings. It was worth it, she supposed, because her team had had faced worse situations than her current predicament, and they still pulled through, for her.

She felt dizzy and light-headed after Zaku's insults and punches. She was quite sure she had sustained a certain degree of brain damage, but she still could not let go. She would never let go, until he gave up. She was doing this for Sasuke-kun, for Naruto, for Kakashi-sensei, she chanted in her mind, but all of her strength seemed to slip away as she waited in vain for the final blow.

Thankfully, the InoShikaCho formation intervened just in time to save her, and Sakura let her pink head fall to the forest floor with a thud. Her emerald eyes barely open, she stared as her former best friend and her team battled the enemy. Slowly, it seemed that her eyelids were getting heavier, and the forest floor seemed so nice, so warm, then-

"Sakura, who did this to you?"

It was Sasuke. Rescuing her. Again.

Her eyes flew open, and she had to stifle another sob. Damn it! This was supposed to be her fight! The time where she could finally prove her worth, but she had to be _that_ weak, that useless.

Maybe he did care, after all. If she had not been so beaten up, her heart would have fluttered, she would have smiled widely, thinking that her efforts of courting Sasuke had finally paid off. However, her scream died on her lips as she witnessed her crush get up in front of her, pure hatred surrounding him like a suffocating cloak. This boy, no _man_, was not the Sasuke-kun she knew. Bloodlust was evident in his eyes, and as he broke Zaku's arms in front of her, she knew that he had reached somewhere she could never reach, no matter how hard she tried.

"No…!" she lurched forward, and hugged him. It was a feather light touch to his waist, but suddenly, he stopped, and that was all that mattered.

As the pair slumped down ungracefully onto the forest floor, she realized that both of them were trembling. _What was that? Sasuke-kun, please be all right._

"Sakura-chan, you cut your hair!" Naruto had already woken up, and had bounded enthusiastically toward the pair.

"Yeah… it was getting too long anyway; it needed a cut," she let out a laugh, which sounded like a tinkling chime in the wind. Sasuke stared at her long and hard before finally looking away; his respect for her had just increased tenfold.

Years later, when Sasuke changed into his cursed seal form, the seal would recede whenever Sakura's face came to mind. It was as though her face would trigger some sort of calm within his body to fight against the cursed seal, until it became instinct to picture her face in his mind whenever he wanted to deactivate it. Sakura would never know this, but maybe she already did.

.

.

During the preliminary rounds, Sakura was in awe of the other competitors: at their prowess, their strength, and their abilities. She felt weak in comparison. _Weak, weak, weak…_ the word seemed to taunt and bait her with its mockery. How many times had she been subjected to that kind of mental anguish? How long had it been since people had started seeing the real her? She had assumed that her chakra control would give her an edge; how wrong she had been. Surveying the other genins, she saw the red-headed boy again. He was nowhere near her, but she could still feel the cold, black aura of death he emanated. She gulped. She hoped that she would not have to face him.

When the proctor had announced that she was to fight Ino, she let out a long breath she never knew she had been holding. She was safe, for now. However, apprehension took over and she re-evaluated the relationship she shared with the blonde girl. She had no idea whether she would be able to fight her properly, but she hoped so, and this time, she would not be weak.

As they parried blows, and Ino exchanged the final one to take over Sakura's body, Sakura done something which had been unheard of – she expelled Ino's Shintenshin no Jutsu from her body. Everyone was shocked. The small, pink girl managed to do such an extraordinary feat? Maybe they had underestimated her after all.

The match ended in a tie, and for once, Sakura felt strong like the enigmatic figure she had seen practicing alone seven years ago.

As Kakashi surveyed his only female student, he felt guilty, and turned away before his emotions broke through his mask. That girl had potential, but- _there was always a 'but'_.

When she woke up, Kakashi-sensei ruffled her hair, his lone eye crinkling at her before he turned away. He felt proud of her, definitely.

.

.

Sakura would never admit it, but she had gotten her first kiss at twelve. It was Gaara.

It had been a usual training session with her team, well, half of it anyway. She remembered that the sky had been lapis-lazuli, so brilliantly blue and adrift with clouds that she was pretty sure Shikamaru would be enjoying himself to the fullest (and not training for his upcoming match). After it became apparent that Sasuke and Naruto had managed to get through the preliminaries, and she was the sole one left behind, she had taken to visiting Sasuke during his elusive training sessions with Kakashi-sensei. Unable to get over his frigid attitude to her at times, she also visited Naruto's training sessions, which left her warming up to the blonde more and leaving her with a healthy dose of irritation for his perverted teacher. Nevertheless, she alternated her visits to both of her boys, bringing with her bento sets for them every time.

This time, she had been visiting Sasuke, and Kakashi-sensei had allowed her to watch him train the young Uchiha in the finer arts of ninjutsu, mainly the Chidori. She had been in awe when Kakashi-sensei had showed them the technique, and even Sasuke had widened his eyes a fraction. The dazzling blue light of the crackling energy in her sensei's gloved hand was brilliant, almost matching the sky above. She had covered her eyes with her hands timidly when she first saw the technique at such a close distance, and when Kakashi-sensei had explained the basic fundamentals to them (mostly Sasuke, but Sakura listened just as attentively), she felt a twinge of jealousy aimed at Sasuke for having the _chance_ to learn such an advanced jutsu while she had to stand there and look like a _fool_. However, she reminded herself that this was the only way for Sasuke to beat Gaara in the finals. He would need a trump card in order to win. Gaara was simply too strong to beat with Sasuke's current abilities.

As she tried to meditate under the shade of the lone tree (she realised that she had been doing that very often), her eyes flew open when the tension had gotten an infinite amount of times thicker.

Gaara had crashed their training session.

He stood away from them stoic, with his crimson red locks and sea-foam green eyes. His death glare was aimed at Sasuke, and Kakashi had shifted to position his body in between those murderous orbs and the body of his precious pupil. Sakura felt bile rise in her throat, but stilled. She had read somewhere that the human eye catalogues movement faster than solitary objects. Hopefully, Gaara would be so fixated on Sasuke that she would be able to go completely unnoticed. However, just then, Kakashi-sensei had to turn to her. It was just a minute movement of his head, but Gaara's eyes followed his movement, and turned his glare to her.

_Damn it._

Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she was sure the three other shinobi could hear the sound clearly. Adrenaline was rushing through her head, and blood was thundering in her ears. Nothing moved.

Then, Sasuke flashed to her, and his movement was impossible to track unless viewed with the Sharingan. Kakashi-sensei had calculated Sasuke's abrupt course of action, and had followed his student. Sakura could only stare at her teammates, now positioned in defensive stance in front of her.

"What do you want?" Kakashi's level voice rang out in the clearing, cool and calm.

At this moment, Gaara had clutched his head in his hands, and tugged at his red tresses. His expression changed from that of anger to one contorted in pain, and Sakura involuntarily flinched backward. With impossible effort, he released his head, and sent another withering glare in their direction.

"Uchiha… I believe that I haven't fully introduced myself yet," his hoarse voice came out, and Sasuke now became the sole object of his attention.

Sasuke said nothing, but growled menacingly at the red-haired boy.

"I will kill you. Mark my words Uchiha," he deadpanned, his sand swirling menacingly around him.

"Try, and we'll see then," came Sasuke's nonchalant reply.

Sakura frowned. That boy's mouth would get him killed someday.

"You have the same eyes as I do, Uchiha Sasuke… those eyes, filled with hatred and death… those eyes, they long for strength, to kill the one who put you through the hell called loneliness. You will cease to exist when I am through with you."

"If that's all you have to say, then I suggest you leave. We are quite busy here, as you can see," Kakashi-sensei drawled out, gesturing to the two pre-teens behind him.

Hearing his words, Sasuke stilled. _Itachi…_ He clenched his fists.

Sakura gulped and looked at Sasuke, who was tense and rigid from anticipation. Sakura looked toward the scene and stood up, ignoring the warning glares from her two teammates. The buzzing energy in her still had not receded, and Sakura was not in the mood to be protected anymore. Gaara was not even a threat (not at the moment, anyway), but Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei were underestimating her abilities so much that they had to protect her!

Frowning, she ventured toward the red-haired boy. Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei had shifted their bodies so that they were poised to pounce on her (and him) if necessary. The three pairs of eyes were all on her, and Sakura allowed a small smirk to grace her features, but she was inwardly shaking.

"Gaara-san, good luck… for your fight with Sasuke-kun, but could you… could you… not disturb… us?" her voice came out shakier at the end than intended, and her initial boldness had dimmed to pure unadulterated fear. What exactly had possessed her to do such a stupid move? This boy could kill her!

She argued with herself, saying that it was high time she stepped out of her shell and did something, for a change. _Doing something and committing suicide is different, dumbass!_ Her inner had screamed at her in frustration, although admittedly, her inner was the one who had fuelled her resolve in the first place. Sakura managed a small smile, before stopping in her tracks. Out in the open.

This time, Sakura barely had time to react before Gaara's sand enveloped her, pulling her into a sand cocoon with the boy. She felt her heart jump to her throat, and was so nervous that she was shaking horribly. Her knees could barely support her weight. _Shit! Why was she still so weak? Damn, have some faith in yourself!_

However, somehow, the sand had pulled her too close to its master, and she only registered the rough grains of sand on her arm, the suffocating pressure within the sand dome and a pair of … lips?

Her eyes widened in shock and surprise as she drank the situation in. As her gaze went up, it locked with a pair of sea-foam green eyes, the eyes which she had long attributed to … Sabaku no Gaara.

She. Was kissing. Gaara.

She stumbled away, too startled for words. Sakura's mind was blank. The shock of what had happened was just too much for her.

Their lips had been forced together at an awkward, unforeseen angle, making it extremely uncomfortable for her. She immediately pulled away, her heart racing.

What she did not expect was for Gaara to grab both of her arms in a death-grip and stare at her intently. She struggled in his vice-like grip and yelled in disapproval, trying to free herself from his clutches, but to no avail. She only managed to see a flash of red before she felt his lips upon hers again, and she squirmed in his hold.

However, she did not expect to _like_ it. It felt strange, but oddly pleasant at the same time. Despite his hardened exterior, his lips were soft, almost like flower petals. The warmth of his body seeped through his clothing and she felt his dominating presence on her fragile body, but she still struggled, although it seemed half-hearted now.

Adrenaline was pumping in her ears, and she felt that same buzz of energy when she had been protecting Tazuna. After what seemed to be forever, he pulled away, and a light blush dusted her cheeks. Her wrestle with him had been reduced to mere whimpers, but she still trembled under his intense gaze.

Gaara looked at her closely, his nose almost touching hers. The only thing which she could remember was that a conversation had taken place between them, and the last words which he had uttered before he left her, confused and disorientated, were "…For now."

His sand had already dropped down to harmless grains onto the ground, and he had disappeared, leaving behind no trace of his existence other than the tingling feeling on her lips. Out in the open, she felt the glare of the morning sun, the cool breeze blowing languidly across her skin, and finally, the questions and protective stances Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei had taken beside her.

Sakura's body still trembled even after he had left, and she had told herself that it was due to his cold, deathly aura that had her shaken. However, she knew that it was partly due to her jumpy nerves, edgy with excitement.

Then it dawned on her. That bastard had stolen her first kiss, damn it!

.

The voice was getting unbearable. It hurt so much. _Oh gods, what he would give for the pain to stop._

Gaara relived the scene when he was fighting with the green-clad moron. The speed, the agility; he had never encountered such strange prowess in his life. His eyes narrowed at the sight of both of them – the young boy and his equally foolish-looking mentor.

The voice was now commanding him to kill them. "I'll do what I want," he had told the voice, for this was getting of hand.

His mind was nearly on breaking point. Sand swirled around him, and his aura turned deathly. Gaara would not follow the demon's voice. He would not give in to the taunts, the mockery, or the insults which he knew were merely tactics the demon used to bait him to give in to its commands.

Lee had already expanded his interest in the course of their fight. While he had left a burning impression on Gaara, the green-clad moron was deemed worthless by the sand-user. _His blood would not accept the boy's weak blood._ Gaara knew that Lee was at the brink of death, lying in the hospital, unconscious and pathetic and _weak_. Just one more tiny push and the boy would really take his last breath. But Gaara did not feel like killing Lee. It would be a shame to waste effort to speed up that inevitable process.

Perhaps the bond of the teacher and his student had affected him to a certain extent, making him _weak and soft. _

"_Oh, you're jealous aren't you? Alone, miserable and pathetic. Are you getting weak, brat?" _the demon had taunted, raving in his head. The voice was getting louder and louder, until Gaara had to scream out loud in order to relieve some of the pain in his skull.

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

That was the final straw; Gaara _would_ not listen to the demon any more. He cursed and clenched his fists. The sand was getting restless. Its bloodlust was heightened. No matter, he would visit the Uchiha tomorrow.

He hopped from rooftop to rooftop under the light of the moon, which loomed in the night sky and hung low enough to graze the distant horizon. Tomorrow, he would taste the boy's blood.

The Uchiha… the raven-haired boy piqued his interest. Those onyx eyes of his… Gaara licked his lips and smirked. Oh yes, tomorrow would be a feast indeed.

The next morning, Gaara allowed his senses to roam freely, to find the Uchiha. His sand was getting restless and agitated. That was never a good sign. He gritted his teeth. _Where the hell are you?_

He surveyed the surroundings, glad that there was little traffic. The lesser the interference the better; it was annoying, to say the least.

The pain had doubled since last night, and the voice kept whispering things to him, things which he felt compelled to _do_.

"Blood will fall; let the whole world be stained in red!"

Gaara buried his heads in his arms, and felt like crying out in anguish before realizing that he was on a mission, and it would not be prudent to expose himself. Clenching his fists, he explored the area, allowing his senses to roam freely.

"Soon…" he tried to soothe the voice in his head, tried to relieve some of the pain, but the pain increased even further, if that was possible. With blood thundering in his ears, he tugged at his red strands, trying to lessen the pressure accumulating in his head. He was quite sure that he would explode from the sheer pain of it soon.

"THERE!" The Uchiha was in a small clearing. He could sense two other chakra signatures accompanying the boy's. One was almost overpowering, while the other was weak, and barely even worth noting. He quickened his pace, satisfied that the pain would finally ebb away. He would quench the thirst of his sand, of the demon, of his bloodlust, and all would be fine. It would be okay; it would be all right…

_Who was he kidding?_ He was convinced that he had been driven past the edge of insanity by the searing pain in his head long ago. But insanity provided comfort. No one mattered, no one cared, and he could love himself all alone, in that stark empty space…

As the Uchiha finally merged into his line of sight, he smirked. He could almost taste the boy's blood. His demon had purred satisfactorily, and had urged him to quickly finish the deed. Gaara's senses were heightened to their greatest, and his muscles had all tensed up when he drank in the sight of the Uchiha.

His eyes were solely fixated on the boy. He had registered Hatake and the other girl (_his teammate?_) barely, and he vaguely wondered if he should also kill the other two after he had finished with his target, just for the heck of it.

Hatake had moved ever so nonchalantly to step in front of the Uchiha, blocking his view. He frowned and glared. Then suddenly, Hatake shifted his head to look at the girl sitting underneath the tree. His eyes followed the small movement. He scrutinized her. Pink hair, green eyes, red dress… she seemed vaguely familiar… He had seen her somewhere before. She looked calm. _Was she not afraid? Foolish girl._ He could kill her with his bare hands, even without the power of his sand. Her delicate appearance said it all.

Then, the original target of his interest flashed toward the girl. Hatake followed, and now his vision was being blocked by Hatake _and_ the boy. Their positions were coiled and tense, Hatake's especially. _She was special to them._

"What do you want?" Hatake had uttered that line. _Such insolence!_ He narrowed his eyes.

Then suddenly, the demon roared, and he felt overwhelming pain envelop his senses. This was unlike anything he had experienced before. _Oh gods, stop, stop, STOP!_ The pain was phenomenal. He could barely move, yet think, and his mind suddenly echoed with the deranged shouts of anger and fury. At that moment, the pain seemed so distant yet so near, and he could feel the licking flames of torture melt his skin, his flesh and his bones away. His entire existence was being erased.

_No, no, NO! I will not give in! _He had come to kill, to feel _alive_. He would prove his existence by erasing others. He could not erase himself. _The _fucking_ irony._

With gargantuan effort, he pushed the demon into the recesses of his mind, and stood up straight.

Ignoring the man, he said, "Uchiha… I believe that I haven't fully introduced myself yet."

The Uchiha growled at him. _Good, they were finally getting somewhere._

"I will kill you. Mark my words Uchiha," he deadpanned, his sand swirling menacingly around him.

"Try, and we'll see then," came Sasuke's nonchalant reply.

Gaara's rage had reached its maximum point, and he had almost ordered his sand to kill the stupid boy, and he could feel the demon's glee. The temptation was so huge that his grains of sand were quivering in anticipation. However, he waited. Unlike other weaklings he had killed, this boy was different. There was something about him that almost made Gaara hesitate.

"You have the same eyes as I do, Uchiha Sasuke… those eyes, filled with hatred and death… those eyes, they long for strength, to kill the one who put you through the hell called loneliness. You will cease to exist when I am through with you."

The boy was lucky to even have a chance to speak to him. Rarely, victims got a chance to converse with their killers before they died. The Uchiha fell into that category.

"If that's all you have to say, then I suggest you leave. We are quite busy here, as you can see," Hatake drawled out, gesturing to the two pre-teens behind him.

"Kill him! He will pay for his lack of respect…" the demon hissed menacingly, and Gaara agreed.

He would have used the Sand Coffin on them immediately, if not for the fact that the foolish girl had gotten up, and had started walking to him, breaking his concentration. Her unexpected movement had caught Gaara off guard, and he wondered if she was about to attack him.

The girl walked out from behind her line of defence and stood, arms akimbo, facing him. She looked unfazed. His interest piqued (for he had never seen that expression on a person before), he stilled for a moment to see what she would do.

"Gaara-san, good luck… for your fight with Sasuke-kun, but could you… could you… not disturb… us?"

That's it. He had reached his limit. The girl would go down _first_.

His sand reacted almost immediately, but surprisingly, his demon went on a full rampage the moment his sand made contact with her skin. Dismissing the demon's raves (although he was albeit curious to know what had riled it up so much), he inwardly smirked. _Since the males of this pathetic team are so protective of her, let's see what they'll do now. _He relished a good fight before he killed his opponent. Those with spunk made their blood seem a whole lot tastier.

He pulled her in with breakneck speed, and she had no time to react at all. However, somehow, his sand had miscalculated her weight (_was she that light?_) and had dragged her in with so much force that he was also caught up in the repercussions of his mistake.

With the few milliseconds that Gaara had created for himself before her body slammed into his, he twisted his body so that it sidestepped her path, but before he could fully escape the line of impact, he felt something press onto his lips. His allowed his eyes to widen.

The girl's lips were crushed onto his own at a clumsy angle, making it slightly uncomfortable for him. His jade eyes looked up into a pair of emerald orbs, and the shock and confusion in there mirrored his own.

He should have backed away and proceeded to waste the person in front of him, but he did not, for one important reason.

The pain stopped. So had the voice.

It was bliss. Pure, untamed, bliss.

There was nothing in his mind. It was utterly blank and empty, devoid of whatever conflict it had seconds ago. And Gaara relished in the silence.

"_Interesting."_

The girl had stumbled back, shock and terror written over her face.

Before she could utter another word, however, he pulled held her hands at her side in a death-grip. She yelled loudly, and he almost ordered his sand to kill her, but he remembered the feeling of bliss when his lips had touched hers, and his interest was piqued again. Killing her could wait.

_An experiment_, he thought, smirking. He needed to know if she could silence the voice in his head and bring reprieve to the continuously searing pain he had to deal with every day.

As he closed the gap between the both of them, he ignored the warning bells in his head to avoid physical contact. What was most important at the moment was to experiment with the girl. _Could she really silence the demon's voice? This weak girl in front of him?_ He had to know desperately.

Before she could scream again, he forced his lips upon hers.

There it was again. Bliss. The demon's voice and the pain had stopped. Bittersweet relief. He let out a shallow breath and closed his eyes.

The feeling was new, and strange. He had never felt anything like this before. Her lips were extremely pliant, and they molded to fit his perfectly. They felt smooth and soft, almost like flowing silk. He felt the warmth of her body seep through the layers of clothing, and sensed how fragile she was, how tiny she was.

Gaara was shocked to find that he _liked_ it. Blood was thundering in his ears, not unlike a battle, but the feeling was odd. It was as though he had just won a long and hard fight, where gratification and satisfaction came as instant rewards. The girl was still struggling, but it had reduced to mere whimpers now.

His mind was still blissfully blank, and that was all that mattered.

After what seemed like eternity, he pulled reluctantly away, and frowned when the demon's rage and the pain came back in full force.

"How… dare you? Why…?" she whimpered, but it was more forceful now, as though she had gained her strength back.

He surveyed her again, and found that tears were leaking from her vibrant eyes. She had begun struggling again, and it was becoming a nuisance, so he tightened his grip on her.

She got the hint and stopped, but still squirmed.

His gaze never leaving hers, he deadpanned, "You made the voice and the pain stop."

This made her widen her eyes with fear, and she began to struggle again. "Let me go this instant! If you don't, I'll scream and-"

He blocked out her annoyingly high-pitched wails, and pondered on the event which had just happened. As he realized that _she_ was the cure to his pain, he smirked.

The change in his facial expression alarmed Sakura to no end, and she started thrashing about in his grip, but found that her body contained no strength. He immediately used his sand to capture her right arm, and placed his free hand over her mouth, effectively muffling her screams. She stopped, and looked at him with the same scared eyes which all his victims looked at him with, before they died.

Old anger coursed through his body. _She was scared, just like everybody else._

But he could not kill her, not after learning that she had the power to stop the pain. She was the medicine to his plaguing nightmare, the key to stop his torture.

She whimpered again, and closed her eyes. He frowned, strangely not liking that he could not see her emerald gaze. Her body was so vulnerable that he was sure he could snap her neck easily in half with just his body's strength.

He pressed his forehead to hers, which forced her to look at him straight in the eye.

"What's your name?"

"Haruno… Sakura."

He chuckled lowly. Typical name for such a fragile girl. Looking upon his memories of the Chuunin Exams, he vaguely recalled that her match in the preliminary rounds had ended in a tie. He had dismissed her completely then, not even bothering to sneer at her incompetency as a ninja. _However, this was completely different._

He leaned forward, making their lips touch a fraction, but she pulled away, turning her head. She struggled even further. _Why wouldn't she stay still?_

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him in the eyes.

"Stop… stop! You can't do this!" she whispered, tears falling from her lashes.

_Annoying. No one can save her. Why does she still cry?_

"Why?" he questioned, giving her a blank stare.

"Because… it's… it's wrong. You can't… can't do this! You PERVERT!" then she recollected herself as she remembered who she was talking to and shielded her eyes from his piercing stare.

"Look at me." He murmured.

She hesitantly opened her eyes, and gave him a level stare. In those glassy orbs, he saw fear, but there was something within the poorly disguised terror which Gaara had never seen before. It was a hint of defiance and courage. _What a strange girl… foolish, but brave._

_Hmm, pervert… is that what she thinks?_

_No matter, she should be glad that I'm conducting this experiment. She'll live longer that way._

He ventured again, licking his lips, his gaze not leaving hers. This action caused her to thrash about again, until he released her.

He stepped back, as though deeming the distance acceptable. "Why...?" she bowed her head, her pink tresses shielding her face.

"That was merely… a test. When I… kissed you," he lifted her chin to stare intently at her lips, "the voice stopped. So did the pain."

"…That… that doesn't give you permission to kiss me! You jerk!" it seemed that she had finally regained the use of her voice again.

He said nothing, but merely pondered about the girl. Sakura… it seemed that she held something within her, something special. Her entire body, her existence, was now burned into his memory. It seemed that he had something to look forward to after all.

He had a lot to think about. He needed some time alone to dissect the events which had just occurred.

"Are you… going to let… me… go now?" he vaguely heard her voice, timid and scared, but it had some hidden quality which piqued his interest even further.

"…For now," he answered, not looking back.

He dropped his sand around her, and vanished into the wind.

The Uchiha could wait. Besides, if he killed the boy now, there was nothing to challenge him in the arena. His previous bloodlust had been replaced by thoughts of the girl.

"Ya know, the boy and his teacher were trying to get inside ya shield."

_Then why didn't you let them? You're obviously pissed that she stopped you._

"I preferred the stupid girl to _them_. She's much weaker compared to those morons."

_Weak enough to stop you._

With that sarcastic statement, Gaara knew that the demon would continue to unleash turmoil on his mental state for the next few hours. No matter. After all, he had found his cure, hadn't he?

That girl… _so very interesting_.

.

.

It had been almost half a year since Team 7 was formed. Sakura pondered about her relationships with the rest of the team, and realized that she was _weak, useless_, in comparison to all of them. Naruto was improving by leaps and bounds every day, and Sasuke already had his Sharingan and Uchiha blood to back up his genius talents. Kakashi-sensei had only seen fit to train Sasuke, and had neglected both of them, but at least Naruto had his own sensei, and the one left behind was still… her.

She sighed and wiped away those traitorous tears clinging onto her lashes. She had to stop crying, damn it. It was becoming a habit, she thought, to cry whenever she could not handle the stress.

Sasuke was too busy training and being caught up in his own world of revenge. He had already vowed to never let go of the things he cared about. The massacre had totally changed his perspective of the world, and so he protected Sakura whenever she was in the face of danger, because he _did_ care about her. Although he mocked her to be weak and annoying, he secretly wished that Sakura would remain so, because then he could redeem himself to protect something he cared about. It was as though with every clash of kunai against an enemy nin in front of Sakura, his sins and tainted blood would be washed away, and he could forget for that one moment that Itachi had managed to kill his whole clan because he was _weak, weak, weak_.

Naruto absolutely adored Sakura, because she was so pretty and delicate. With her pink hair, green eyes and porcelain skin, she looked like a doll. Like Sasuke, he would always jump in to protect her from any imminent danger. It was because he thought that something as pretty and cute as her should remain unharmed. He had never really considered that it was because she was _weak_, but deep down inside he _knew_ that she was unable to fend for herself. Like Sasuke, whenever he clashed against an enemy nin, there would be an air of masculinity around him, which practically screamed, _"Stay out of our way. Let the men do the work. As a girl, you just have stand there and look pretty and delicate."_ He lavished Sakura with attention, and although his intentions were for the best, Sakura fell behind.

Kakashi-sensei knew from the start when he had lain eyes on Team 7 was that Sakura would be the weakest link. Perhaps it was due to her pink hair, or her delicate posture, but it came to him naturally that Sasuke and Naruto would be the main stars of the show. She would just be in the background, cheering them on, or egging them to do their best. Although he had drilled into them the concept of teamwork, he had never expressed it outright that every member was to pull his (or her) own weight in the team. While Sakura possessed high intelligence, it was inclined to books and facts, and he knew that that would never get her far. Naruto and Sasuke were much more flexible to work with, for they had streets smarts, and in the Shinobi World, it only mattered if you were able to survive, not if you understood the trajectory of a shuriken projected out at a 51° angle and at a speed of 200km/h. When Sakura had managed to ace the tree-climbing exercise easily, Kakashi was surprised that she had managed to grasp the concept faster than the boys, but had dismissed it due to her low chakra reserves. He was inwardly glad and proud though, when she had managed to end her match in tie with Ino. Yet, whenever he looked at her, so bright, so shining, guilt would envelop him and he would have to look away. Sakura could wait. The priority was Sasuke, then Naruto, then maybe, just maybe, Sakura.

.

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><p>Author's Notes: Oh and with regards to the GaaSaku kiss, I thought that it would be fun to have Gaara's POV included too. Anyway, this chapter is kind of like a prologue, because almost everything can be found in the original series. I'd like to hear your comments, so reviews are highly appreciated. :)

**Edit 27112011: A wonderful anon had told me that he/she thought that the part about the kiss felt semi-plagiarized and I felt extremely guilty, because it sort of is. So now, I've edited that part to make it more original. I'm so sorry for everyone who had read this story before the edit was made. I had shown you a side of me which was utterly disgraceful. I apologise for my mistake, and I hope that you can forgive me. To be honest though, I prefer my version to the previous one, so I guess that it was for the best, and mysterious anon, if you re-read this story again, I just want to say 'Thank you!'**


	2. Catch a body coming through the rye

Title: Adamantine

Author: Eliways

Franchise: Naruto

Summary: As a female, she is weak. As a girl, she is delicate. As a shinobi, she is weak. But she will not be defined by those characteristics. Not anymore. Sakura-centric.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: This title of this chapter is inspired by J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye, which is really thought-provoking. Not gonna lie, it sure as hell wasn't my favourite book, but I learnt a lot from it.

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><p>.<p>

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It had been after the Chuunin Exams when Team 7 was sent on another mission. Sakura's hair had started to grow longer, and she had taken a kunai and sliced it off, till it was as short as the time when she had cut it in the Forest of Death. She had long decided that appearances did not matter in the Shinobi World. Sure, she still harboured feelings for Sasuke, but had realized that she had also grown to love him as a friend, and as a person.

Whenever Team 7 went out on missions, and came in proximity of a female (no matter the age), they would immediately ogle at Sasuke's good looks (and maybe Kakashi-sensei's, but you could never really tell with the stupid mask) before looking toward the rest of the team and giving them looks of condescension (most of the time, anyway), as though saying _'Why is he travelling with you?'_ When Sakura had still been too dazed and infatuated with him, she had been furious, but had agreed with them.

During their days in the Academy, Sasuke had attracted his fair share of fan girls, and Sakura had unknowingly turned into one. However, she felt that her relationship with Sasuke had an almost imperceptible change from the day she met him till present. Girls were attracted to him because of his looks, but would push him away when they really got to know him. He was irritable, arrogant, and not a good person to be around.

But if you stuck with him long enough, you would be able to see a side of him which he rarely displayed to other people. You would see that he had good intentions, and was not the emotionless boy he pretended to be. Sakura felt that she had finally reached a stage where he regarded her with unguarded acknowledgement, and although a long time had passed for her to be able to break through the barriers in his heart, she felt contented.

During that fateful mission, Sakura had watched her teammates do the fighting again, and was feeling rather low. In the aftermath of the fight, she discovered that both of the boys were trembling slightly, wide-eyed, and breathless. She only learned afterward in a small cave that they had set up camp in that both of them had had their first kill.

They had eaten dinner in silence, tension palpable in the air. Even Naruto had been unable to do anything to break the tense atmosphere. After they finished and the moon had risen, Kakashi-sensei had announced that he would take first watch.

In the pale light of the moon, Sakura was unable to sleep. It was warm, and cozy, but her mind was just too active to allow her doze off. She was lying in the middle of the boys, and was looking up at the dull grey of the cave's wall. Naruto had unconsciously moved to her left side and had curled up beside her, while Sasuke's hand had shifted so that it was barely a few inches away from hers. She longed to interlace her fingers with him, but she did not, and she knew that she should have pushed Naruto away from her, but she laid still. She gave a soft sigh before closing her eyes, trying to get some sleep.

The emotional trauma of killing someone… how was she supposed to understand that, when she could barely slice a kunai to a person's body to draw blood? In her mind, she was the purest out of Team 7, because her hands had never been stained with blood that was not hers. She knew that Kakashi-sensei had killed countless shinobi before her, and would continue to do so, and she knew that Naruto and Sasuke also had their fair share of blood. However, hurting was different from killing. When you hurt someone, you merely hear them gasp in pain and see the red essence of their body seep through the open wound. When you kill someone, however, you see the life go out in their eyes, see the last expression of horror on their faces before you end it, permanently freezing their face into that strangled contortion forever. You look into their eyes, and wonder if they have a family too, waiting for them at home, you wonder if the unnamed shinobi before your eyes has a promise to fulfill, but you know that his life would have long passed behind him after the last breath has escaped his lungs.

_How was she to know?_

She could barely hear Kakashi-sensei's soft chuckle before she craned her head to look at him, her emerald gaze meeting his lone eye.

"You're good for them, Sakura."

Her eyes widened in surprise, before shaking her head. "I didn't do anything to help." It came out softer and more pathetic than she had intended.

"That's not true. You helped with our strategizing, remember? In fact, you contributed the most."

A feather light breath escaped her lips, and she slumped down with a dejected expression. "You know better than me that a shinobi with smarts alone isn't going to get very far."

"Correct, but it's good that you're so kind and caring. If you weren't, Sasuke and Naruto would probably be on rampages right now." He looked away and snapped his book shut.

She waited for him to continue.

"Sakura, your first kill will haunt you. It is a traumatic experience which you will probably never forget. With these two," he gestured to the sleeping boys beside her, "I was afraid that they wouldn't have anyone to fall back on. They are in a turbulent stage in their lives, and although their pride will never allow them to say it, they need to fall back on others sometimes. You are perfect for them."

"So, you're saying that it's a good thing that I couldn't do anything to help just now?" Sakura bit out bitterly.

"No," he sighed, "it's a good thing that you're still innocent Sakura who will embrace and give comfort to them." This time, he smiled lightly.

"Oh?"

"Don't grow up too fast, Sakura. That's just what I'm trying to say. Now, go to sleep," he ruffled her hair, his lone eye crinkling at her.

.

.

During Team 7's solo mission in the Land of Tea (Kakashi-sensei had been sent off to a high-ranking mission without them), Sakura experienced a myriad of emotions she would never have felt on daily basis. Perhaps it was due to puberty, but she felt that it was for the best when Kakashi-sensei had gone. Maybe it was because she finally had one less human barrier to go through, one less human barrier to _protect_ her from danger. While Naruto and Sasuke had mixed reactions to Kakashi's absence, hers was of delight. Maybe she could prove her worth on this mission after all.

When they had stopped in the tiny tea shack for a break, Sakura felt overwhelmed when Idate had _flirted_ with her. She had blushed slightly then, too embarrassed for words. With Naruto and Sasuke, it was the same thing over and over again – Naruto would ask Sakura out, Sakura would vehemently reject his offer, and then she would timidly ask Sasuke out, before he would coldly reject hers – maybe routines had to be broken. Naruto had been over-protective of her, but Sakura felt flattered. It was one of the rare times when a boy would openly express his interest in her. She had been on the receiving end of unrequited love for a long time, and sometimes, a little attention was nice.

When Idate had blatantly asked her to give up her ninja life to elope with him, she was shocked to find herself even considering her offer. _Seeing as she was such an idiot to keep hanging around Sasuke, and too weak to be of any use to her team… _but then Sasuke had given Idate a warning glare, and she stopped. _She mentally kicked herself. What was she thinking? What about her nindo? She would not back down, not this time._ Sakura put on her patented fake smiles and said nothing, pretending to be the porcelain doll her team expected her to be.

When Idate had left with such incredible speed, she could feel Sasuke's irritation rolling of him in almost-tangible waves (Naruto just voiced his displeasure out loud), and found herself wondering if it was solely due to the fact that Idate had left his bill for them to pay which had ticked him off so much. She had shrugged before pumping chakra into her legs to catch up with Idate. _Boys…_

Sasuke was a little like an anti-hero, she supposed. He was not exactly against the protagonist, but he did not possess the characteristics of a stereotypical hero either. When those thugs had threatened the shop keeper menacingly, Sasuke had taken them out easily. Sakura had watched his swift movements with childish glee and confidence, and had smiled lightly when he cracked his knuckles with an intimidating air. She had utmost faith in his abilities. After all, she loved him, did she not?

Sasuke had such an authoritative air around him which proved his aristocratic blood, and the way he carried himself was reminiscent of royalty. When Sasuke and Sakura had walked down the marketplace together (Naruto, being the idiot he was, had been storming in front with Idate), people naturally made way for him. It was as though he commanded the attention, and such power came to him naturally. Sakura had taken notice of this, and was in slight awe of his stature. Her Sasuke-kun was so cool!

Then, they had found out about the race, and Sakura felt herself tense with excitement. It was going to be interesting, definitely.

Usually, Kakashi-sensei would assign the job of protecting the escort to her. This time, without their sensei, Sakura could have bullied Naruto (or even Sasuke, if she tried hard enough) to take up that job, but she had slipped into the role naturally, wordlessly. A kind of unspoken trust had been built within Team 7 since the mission in Wave. Naruto and Sasuke would take out the enemy ninja, while Sakura would protect their charge. It ticked Sakura off on normal occasions, but she gritted her teeth and stood in defensive position in front of Morino Idate anyway. _Baby steps, baby steps…_

It posed no difficulty to protect their charge, because they were usually obedient and timid, an advantage in battles, for they listened to Sakura's every command. However, Idate was so defiant and fast. Sakura could barely keep up with him, but knew that she was most suited to this job. Naruto was too brash and would no doubt get into another stupid argument with Idate, while Sasuke was too valuable to be standing in one place.

She willed herself to not flare up and just _slap_ her charge, because she was already having trouble fending off some vicious blows from the Rain nin. She was stressed, and the damn boat was on fire. _If that boy said something stupid one more time…_

The heat from the flames had reached a point where it could scald her skin if she went too near, but she disregarded the fact first, and concentrated on protecting Idate. He was the priority now.

Clones were quickly closing in on them, and Idate would be harmed soon. If she did not do something quick… there! She saw the sturdy wooden mast. It looked huge and heavy, but Inner Sakura had chosen that opportune moment to come out of her shell, and with strength she never knew she possessed, she wrapped her slender arms around it, and pulled. Goddammit, she pulled so hard that she felt her limbs would give out and she saw from her peripheral vision that the clones were about to slash Idate and she could not let that happen and- _oh no, oh no, come on…_

The mast gave way. She had just fucking _pulled_ it out of the boat.

Grinning like a mad Cheshire cat, she swung. Hell yeah, she swung it horizontally and the clones vanished in puffs of smoke, leaving Sakura panting and Idate wide-eyed.

'Go Idate! Please…" she begged. She was in no mood for his comebacks, and was on breaking point herself. The heat had become unbearable, and all she wished was that Idate would jump off the boat to lessen her burden. She pleaded with him through her emerald gaze, trying to convey to him that they were sincere. As dysfunctional as her team could be, they were nothing if not committed.

Then, she saw a kunai aimed straight for his heart. If not for the heat and the close proximity of the fire, she would have parried it easily with her own. However, the sheer pressure of it all had muddled her senses, and her body acted on reflex, coming to block the sharp weapon with her shoulder to avoid getting Idate hurt. She gasped at the pain, and winced, before turning to Idate to tell him to just _go_. Naruto and Sasuke heard her scream, and were anxious to finish the fight.

Seconds after Idate had escaped, the trio jumped into the sea themselves, barely dodging the shrapnel of wood which had flew to them from the burning boat.

When they reached the shore, Team 7 had slumped down unceremoniously in the first cave they found, not bothering to check if it had become home to any exotic sea creature. Sakura nursed her wound, while her teammates and Idate recuperated. As they stared into the amber glow of the fire, Sakura replayed the events of her fight in her mind, and she smiled slightly at the memory. She had finally done something worthwhile… It made her feel warm inside, and she hugged her knees tighter, not in pain, but in glee.

Naruto and Sasuke, however, had been cursing inwardly at their incompetence. They had let Sakura get hurt. That was unacceptable. _Hurting Sakura was a sin._

Overlooking the bright glow of the flames, the male members of Team 7 had surreptitiously turned their gaze to their female teammate, not noticing the slight curve of her lips.

.

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When both of her boys had been battling it out on the roof of the hospital, she felt so helpless. It was as though she was watching a horror movie – it was horrifying yet thrilling at the same time. The first thought in her mind as she screamed and bounded toward them was _'No… please stop! We are Team 7! No… please, no, no, no, please… Oh gods…'_

However, when Kakashi-sensei had shown up with his impeccable timing, and the aftermath of the fight was shown through the extensive damage done to the water tanks, Sakura clenched her fists tightly and looked down. From an onlooker's perspective, it would look as though the small girl was angry and frustrated that the barriers between their hearts were getting thicker, which she was, but she could hardly stop the onslaught of scalding tears which threatened to spill over, because her teammates were improving so quickly, and she was still stuck at the back, always watching their figures get smaller and smaller in the distance as they got closer to their goals. Oh gods, it hurt so much, and she felt like crying in anguish. Damn it, damn it, _damn it…_

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She had finally accepted a long-awaited dinner date with Naruto. She should have felt slightly happy, because she finally had someone to shower her with attention, or should have felt slightly irritated, because Naruto was not the one she liked, but she felt calm neutrality as she ate her ramen in silence. Although Naruto tried his best to get her to talk, or even smile, she stayed quiet and sullen. The only thoughts in her head revolved around a certain dark-haired avenger. She sighed quietly and resumed to picking at her noodles.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, are you worried about Sasuke?" Gone was the goofy grin and obnoxious tone in his voice. Naruto looked at her, his azure eyes sparkling under the lanterns' light, and she realized for the first time how _old_ and mature he looked. He looked weary and tied down by the world, and Sakura supposed that he was.

She suddenly felt guilt wash over her in huge waves, but found a lump stuck in her throat. She lifted a small hand to her neck and slumped down. "Oh Naruto… I'm so sorry…"

"Sasuke… is going to be fine. Kakashi-sensei told us not to worry right? You shouldn't worry about him. Sasuke can take care of himself," His voice had undergone a huge change from his usual intolerable intonation, and his deep baritone soothed and surprised her slightly. It was times like this which reminded Sakura that they weren't kids anymore. Not after they had received their headbands. _And Naruto was much more mature than she could ever be._

That concluded their conversation, and both teens ate in silence. After the meal, Naruto had offered to walk her home, but she declined. She would have liked some company home, but she did not want Naruto to see the vulnerable side of her. While he would probably try to comfort her, it embarrassed her more than it should have, because she had grown to respect and admire Naruto as a friend, and she did not want _them_ to think of her as useless any longer.

_Damn it._ She should have been strong enough to withstand the onslaught of tears which threatened to break through her carefully made up façade. Quickening her pace, she looked up into the sky and saw the familiar cover of darkness. It was a beautiful night, but the moon looked so sad, as though foreshadowing something ominous. The stars twinkled much more coldly and distantly than any other night, and something in her heart just _told_ her to change her direction. Somewhere in there, an unknown feeling (yet it felt horribly familiar at the same time) stirred within her gut.

She ran.

She stumbled a few times and shivered slightly before she made it, and the dark figure walking down the path (_away from her, away from her life, away from Konoha, no, no, no_) confirmed her fears. She swallowed.

Her conversation with Sasuke had just proved how little she knew of her teammates, how little she understood him. She had thought that maybe, somewhere, deep inside his aloof exterior, he harboured thoughts of a happy existence with them, with his teammates, with his _friends_. It turned out that she was wrong. So very, very wrong.

When he flashed behind her to give her his thanks, her brain was working extremely fast, but her body felt frozen. _No, no, no… don't go… please…_

"Sakura," a hesitant pause, then his smooth quiet murmur came, "thank you for everything."

She barely felt her body tense up at the unexpected hit on her vital point behind her neck before she slipped into unconsciousness, and the only thing she registered before she fell into the comforting blackness were two arms breaking her fall. _Sasuke-kun…_

Later, as she woke up in the soft rays of dawn, she recalled the events of last night, and the only thing that flashed through her mind was the cryptic message that he left behind. _Thank you? What for Sasuke-kun? I did nothing for you. All I ever did was get in your way._

When she retold the events to Tsunade-sama, she felt unexpected tears welling up. She pushed them down, and told herself harshly, "Don't cry. You were weak, that's why he didn't want to bring you along. You were weak, that's why you were unable to stop him. Don't you dare _effing_ cry."

As she stood at the village gates watching Naruto and the others go, she felt like taking off with them, but knew that she would only be a burden.

Naruto's words to her, "I'll bring him back Sakura-chan. It's a promise of a lifetime!" It made Sakura feel so many emotions that she felt like an emotional wreck. Naruto's overly bright (and fake) grin was glaring in the morning sun, and although she felt like screaming at him to bring her along, _because she was Sasuke's teammate and friend, not them_, she smiled and waved through teary eyes.

_Good luck Naruto. If there's one person whom Sasuke trusts, it's you._

She stood at the village gates for a long time, perhaps until late evening. Kotetsu and Izumo had given up persuading her to go home. She was simply too stubborn.

.

.

Naruto had come back. He was not far from death. Her heart almost stopped when she looked at how cut up he was.

Her heart told her that it was all her damn fault that she could do nothing to help, and was so weak.

If Naruto looked like that, then Sasuke was definitely on the brink of death too. Her chest was constricted with pain and anguish. _Where was the Team 7 who protected her, their doll? Where were they now?_ She screamed.

After seeing Naruto's state, she tossed and turned in her bed that night, unable to get sleep. Adrenaline was pumping in her veins and she felt extremely wired with all the restless energy bundled up in her muscles. It was the first time she had left her house in the middle of the night to do _something_, and it definitely wasn't going to be her last.

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><p>AN: Shorter than my previous chapter... And I realised that this has been rotting in my laptop for more than three months now... Anyway, working on the next part, love all of you guys! :)

Reviews are highly appreciated :)


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